the sexiest men alive (in my opinion)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009 at 10:58AM Brad Pitt is icky. I wouldn't know Hugh Jackman if he clawed me in the face with his Wolverine knife-claws. (Okay, the knife-claws might be a giveaway.) George Clooney: Zzzzzzz. As you can see, traditional heartthrobs leave me cold. But I do harbor a few celebrity crushes. Though it goes without saying that my husband is my real-life crush*, here are my imaginary ones—a couple of which are pretty bizarre:
1. Bill from Big Love. Not the actor, Bill Paxson. The character, Bill Henrickson. Don't ask me why I would be attracted to a character who is not at all my type. He's earnest. He drives a big gas-guzzler. He hunts. Also, polygamist. Also, fictional.
Can't help it, though. I like the way he talks. My crush began when he told Margene, his third wife, "I wasn't complete until you, and our fine sons." (I only remembered the "fine sons" part, but would you believe there are links out there to Big Love quotes? Go figure.) There was something about that phrase, "fine sons." It was so old-fashioned and gallant. Maybe it's not Bill Henrickson I have a crush on, but the writers of Big Love.
2. Barack Obama. Seriously, look at him.
But despite his boyish charm and, you know, the whole Leader of the Free World thing, this is a friend-crush. I just want to hang out and drink beer with him and Michelle. Honorable mention: Joe Biden. I know he's politician-y. Still, sexxxxxy.
3. James Dyson, the designer/engineer. You've seen him on the commercials for the Dyson vacuum cleaner, the one that "never loses suction." Perhaps my oddest crush of all, but, honestly, I find him irresistible. I imagine that one day his wife was complaining about their shoddy vacuum cleaner, and he brought her a Pimm's cup and said in that British accent, "Chin up, love. I shall invent a vacuum that never loses suction," and then went down to his workshop and worked until he got it exactly right. Sigh. Plus, blue eyes. And did I mention that accent?
As for the least sexy man alive? Easy...
Jon Gosselin.
*Update: My husband points out that "real-life crush" is not the same as "sexiest man alive." He is correct. I phrased that badly. Darling, YOU ARE BY FAR THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. There. That should settle it.
celebrities, don't tell my husband
Reader Comments (4)
I second the Dyson one. Is it the voice? I developed an odd attraction to Shelby Foote by the end of Ken Burns' Civil War series.
Oh, Shelby Foote! And yes, it is totally Dyson's voice. Who else could say "never loses suction" like that?
Really? Put me down for Peter Falk and Robert Duvall.
the dyson guy is hot - good call.